Lessons from the Chronicles of Harry Potter
by LyricalxRose
Summary: Harry teaches lessons about his fellow Hogwartians. Follow their wacky adventures, with Harry teaching lessons at the end. Very funny, and slightly random. Better than it sounds. I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Okay, to take a break from writing my other story, (Which I currently have writer's block on, sorry.) I decided to have some fun and write a humor story. Yes, A humor story. This will be having fun with the Harry Potter characters. I'm not making fun of them, just messing with them. **** Hope you all enjoy!**

~*In the Gryffindor Common Room, 5th year*~

"Ron, you CAN"T be serious!" Hermione said, exasperated.

"I AM Serious, Hermione, I'm dead serious." Ron replied.

*Sirius pops in out of nowhere.*

"No! No! I'm Sirius! And I'm' NOT Dead!"

*Sirius leaves with a pop*

"Hermione? I thought you couldn't apparate inside Hogwarts?" Harry said confusedly.

"You can't." Hermione said, with a look of utter incomprehension on her face.

**Lesson: Sirius does whatever he wants, no matter what. **

**~* **5th year, DADA Class*~

"Please open your books to page-"

Suddenly a cell phone goes off.

"Whoever's phone that is, please give it to me." Umbridge says, turning around. The sight she meets is enough to leave her flabbergasted.

Every student has their phone out, and all are playing the exact same ringtone.

_**I pray your brakes go out running down a hill,**_

_**I pray a flowerpot falls from a windowsill, and knocks you in the head like I'd like too. I pray your Birthday comes and nobody calls,**_

_**I pray you're flying high, when your engine stalls.**_

_**I pray all your dreams, never come true!**_

_**Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you!**_

In the front row, smiling were the D.A. members who had her class then.

**Lesson: Please Pray for Umbridge.**

~* 5th year, in the corridors.*~

"Miss Granger, Detention!" Umbridge's false girly voice rang out.

Hermione turned around and replied, "Whatever for Professor?"

"You received an Outstanding on your last essay."

Hermione looked confused. "Professor, that's the highest grade available."

"Detention!" Umbridge yelled again. 

"Now why?!?" Hermione exclaimed.

"You replied." Umbridge said, looking smug.

"Okay…so-"

"Detention!" Umbridge again interrupted her.

"This is ridiculous! Why?" Hermione asked, now exasperated.

"You were born."

Hermione pulled out her wand and promptly hexed her professor.

"Have fun, I'd rather have detention then listen to that crap." Hermione said, walking away.

**Lesson: Hermione will beat you down.**

**A/N Yes, they are supposed to be semi-out of character. ; p Hope you like it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N They have muggle items, because I want them too. Face book is owned by Face book, and in the last chapter, the ringtone was from "I Pray for You." By Jaron and the Long Road to Love. Okay, I only own some of these ideas. :p**

~* Gryffindor Common Room, 5th year.*~

Ron was typing away at his laptop, on Face book, for some reason. He suddenly yelled out, and Harry looked up. "What is it?" he asked.

"Get over here!" Ron said, still clicking away. "Look at this!"

Harry went over and looked at the computer screen. "What am I looking for?"

Ron sighed. "Whose page is this?" He asked.

"Holy crap! It's Voldemort's Face book page!" Harry said, looking it over.

"And look at his friends list!" Ron said, clicking again.

"Bellatrix? Malfoy? What?!?" Harry said, reading the list of over a hundred names.

"And look!" Ron said, pointing to a picture on the page.

"Uh…Since when has Voldemort been a muscled tan guy?" Harry asked, looking at the page.

Hermione then walks in. "Hey guys, what are you doing?" She asks, leaning over Ron's shoulder to look at the computer screen. "And who's the tan, muscled guy?"

"Voldemort's Face book page." Ron replies.

Hermione almost shrieks in shock. "Ew! That is disgusting! I thought he was al pale and bald?"

"He is" Harry replied, closing the laptop.

Lesson: Don't look at Voldy's Face book.

~* Sometime in the 3rd year. (different times.)*~

Random kid: "OMG Hermione broke a nail!"

Prof. Lupin: "Here give her some chocolate."

Random kid: "OMG Harry fainted!"

Prof. Lupin: "Here, give him some chocolate."

Random kid: "OMG! Draco got mauled by a hippogriff!!!"

Prof. Lupin: "…Nah." *he walks away.*

Lesson: Lupin only gives chocolate to awesome people.

**A/N The face book one took me a while. I'm running out of ideas. Anyone have any? **


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